As the day draws closer to the 1st anniversary of when I last spoke with you and hugged you and told you I love you, I cannot stop thinking of you mum. I was hoping the grief was easing and I was getting used to living without you but today the sorrow of losing you hurts just as deeply as when you first left us. Maybe it's because I'm in the process of choosing your grave stone or maybe it's simply because I can't get used to not having you with me. I'm sorry mum, you told me not to be upset and grieve for you but I just can't help it. I don't think I will ever come to terms with losing you. I will put some lovely flowers on your grave for your 1st anniversary. I miss you so much. I can still hear your voice and feel like I can reach out to touch you. I hope you are at peace mum. I love and miss you so very much. Xxx