Mum, you knew I would have a huge amount of work to do in winding up your estate. I also think you knew it would help me with the grieving process; I've been so incredibly busy with being your executor that I've not had time or energy to grieve and miss you as much as I was when you first left us. Although the estate administration drove me into the ground and gave me more stress than I've ever had in my life it also helped me come to terms with the terrible feeling of loss for you. I had to sell your bungalow mum which for me was a relief that I was no longer responsible for it but also very sad to leave all the memories of you and dad behind. The majority of the equity from your property has paid for your care fees that had accumulated over the last few years so sadly the family won't be receiving a huge amount of inheritance. They will hopefully have enough to give them a lovely holiday so that will be nice for them anyway. As you expected mum I've done all the administration work myself; I thought I had taken on too much and very nearly gave up on several occasions but I'm almost there now. I've just placed notices in the official channels for anyone else to come forward who may be owed money and once the deadline is reached I am legally entitled to distribute whatever small amount of funds are left to the family. Only one of your children has asked how much they will get and how long they have to wait......you know who that is don't you mum 😉. Me and Barb have agreed to put some money aside before distributing to the others so that we can buy you a beautiful grave set. Remember I promised that you will have the best grave in the cemetery? Well we are going to make sure that happens and give you a beautiful headstone and surround. It will look lovely mum. I know you helped me survive what was the worst year of my life and I now feel that I may actually be able to enjoy my own life once again. I'm actually starting to look forward to the future instead of dreading it so I suppose that's down to you helping me get through the worst time of my life. I will never stop loving you mum and I miss you every single day. Xxxx